endings and beginnings

Happy Birthday, Lolo!

Today is my lolo's birthday. I miss him. Tonight my family will celebrate his birthday at the eldest sister's house. I wish i can be there. I miss my lolo so much. He passed away last year, a few days after celebrating his birthday.

I love you lolo.

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I just read that Generationrice is finally closing its rad site (oh no!). I feel sad. After 5 years, it had a great run...

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Going over the site, i came across a poem i wrote for them during the time my lolo was in the hospital (he's a diabetic). Even now, i still become overcome with the emotions i felt when i was writing that -- it was a little too personal i guess.

I never really spent that much time with my lolo growing up since they were based in the US that time and would only be here for the holidays. Still, i always remember his advice on life, passed on constantly by mom to me:

+ read books
+ intelligence is your best asset --- beauty fades through time
+ simplicity in life is best --- money may give you material things, but if you're stupid, you're not worth anything

Or something to that effect. He usually says it in dialect (more to the point). I remember him always praising me or my cousins whenever we excel in our studies. His greatest happiness was to see a member of his family happy in what he/she does, manifested in the excellence/progress of his career/work.

He was always the soft-spoken yet candid guy i would happily show my grades too, always ready to tell me a story (usually war stories) or revel in the "love story" he and my lola had during the war. I love his smile and seeing tthe excitement in his eyes whenever he talks. I love the soulful gaze he gives my lola everytime he is with her, how he holds her hand like he will never let go.

I love how excited he gets when he plans to go to the beach, and how much more excited he gets once he is there. I love how he enjoys the beach, spending time talking with Tatay Mel, or just walking along the shore. I love how despite his misgivings and distractions, he shows my mom in small ways that he loves her, like holding her hand and hugging her whenever he spends time with us.

I miss my lolo...

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